This new blog is one solely for my 'Book by End of June' project. Here I will post some chapters, ideas, what I am finding fun about writing this story and what I am finding tough about it etc. etc.

Enjoy :)

Tuesday, 16 April 2013

Chapter 2: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.


“Merry Christmas love,” Mrs Kennedy said opening Lee’s door on Christmas morning, “there’s a couple of gifts downstairs for you.”
“Morning mam,” Lee answered groggily, “merry Christmas to you too.”
Lee got out of bed and put on the silly Christmas jumper his mam wanted him to wear. It had a Rudolf on it with a large fluffy red nose. Lee didn’t like the jumper but it wasn’t like he would be going anywhere today and no one would see him in it.
As Lee reached the sitting room, with the seven-foot Christmas tree, his dad was already drinking a beer. Lee looked at the clock on the sitting room wall; it was only a little after nine am. Like Lee, Michael was wearing a woolly Christmas jumper. His had Santa Claus on it though and the beard and white hair were fluffy, like the nose on Lee’s. Maeve was also wearing Christmassy clothing. She had a dress with little reindeer, snowmen and Christmas trees on it. She had her hair tied up in a red ribbon as well. To anyone looking in they almost looked like the perfect family. The house was decorated, tastefully, with matching colour decorations on the walls, ceiling and tree. Nothing was out of place. Even the woolly jumpers and dress the Kennedy’s were wearing matched the decoration colour theme; to the extant that it could.
As with most families the Kennedy’s have Christmas day traditions. The first of these is that the three members toast in the day with a drink of their choice. Usually it is the first drink they drink on that day. Lee had a Coke, his mam had a mulled wine and his dad had his third beer of the morning.
After they finished this drink they had some breakfast and following that there were gifts to be opened. The tradition surrounding this was that Mrs Kennedy went to the tree and divided out the gifts to her husband and son and created a pile for herself.
She did just this. There were the normally gifts from family members: mugs, shower gel and deodorant packs, socks, a scarf, a calendar and a few other bits and pieces. His parents got him new runners and a hurley, his last one broke in November, and a couple of new video games and books. There was one other gift there. It was the strangest shaped of all the gifts. Lee picked it up and examined it. It was from Joshua. Lee didn’t remember Joshua handing him a gift in school and it was extremely unlikely that Joshua had given it to his parents to put under the tree.
Lee was staring at the gift confused when his mother noticed:
“Who’s that from dear?” she asked.
“A friend in school,” Lee said.
“That’s nice, isn’t it?” Maeve said. Lee didn’t respond and so she asked her husband, “that’s nice that Lee would get a gift from someone in school isn’t it Michael?”
“Fantastic, yeah,” he said not looking up from his newest gadget his wife had bought him for Christmas.
“He didn’t hand it to me though,” Lee said and looked at his mam questioningly.
“I don’t think I know any of your friends,” Maeve said in answer to his unasked question.
Lee shrugged and looked back to the gift from Joshua and opened it. Inside there was a snow globe and a note. Inside the snow globe there was a church and a house and an old style light post. There was also a little figure standing outside the front of the church. Lee bent down close to the globe to take a closer look at the figure. It looked as if it was in the school uniform Lee and Joshua would wear. Looking closer he saw that it was meant to be him.
“Wow,” Lee couldn’t help but say.
“Hmmm?,” Mrs Kennedy asked.
“It’s me,” he said lifting up the globe to show his mam.
“Where?” she asked looking at the church in the globe.
“There, in front of the church,” Lee said.
“Oh my,” she said, “it does look like you, a little at least.”
“Crazy isn’t it?” Lee said and opened the note.
Just so you will be able to know that there is someone who cares for you and wants to look out for you and is watching over you. I hope that when you are feeling down that you can remember there are people who care for you. Joshua.
PS my dad wants you to come away with us for New Years if you are willing. You can text me whenever to let me know.

“Well I best go and cook the turkey,” Maeve said as Lee gathered up all the wrapping paper and put it in a black plastic bag, “where is it dear?”
“Where’s what?” Michael asked looking up from whatever was engrossing his attention at that present moment, probably another beer.
“The turkey?” Maeve asked all smiles.
“I don’t know, where did you put it?” he responded.
“Don’t tell me you forgot,” Maeve said getting a little worked up and frustrated.
“Forgot what?” Michael shouted back.
“The turkey of course?” she replied.
“I wasn’t to get the turkey,” he insisted, “that was your job.”
“No, actually, you headed off for beer one night a couple of weeks ago and I asked you to pick up a turkey on your way and you said you would do that no problem.”
“I never did.”
“I remember that,” Lee said, “you did dad, and you were sober for once too so no reason you shouldn’t remember.”
“What did you say you little punk?” Michael said jumping from his seat and knocking over all the gifts he had gotten, even breaking a glass from Maeve.
“He said nothing dear,” Maeve replied standing between them, “go to your room Lee,” she said to him and waited through his protests for him to leave.
“Let’s talk about this in the kitchen while we find something else to cook?” she asked her husband; who followed her to the kitchen.
Lee was already in the kitchen and when he heard them coming he moved towards the washroom, hiding behind the door where he could peek through the gap and watch the proceedings.
“I cannot believe you forgot the turkey you stupid woman,” Michael roared at his wife.
“I didn’t though dear, did I, it was you that forgot it.”
“You should have checked with me after I got back to make sure I remembered it. Anyway, kitchen stuff is your area. Why do you expect me to do everything?”
“I don’t it was one simple job love.”
“Don’t give me that ‘love’ rubbish. What were you doing when you should have been buying a turkey anyway?” Michael shouted.
“Buying your presents and running this house by myself,” she replied.
This caused Michael to hit her with the back of his right hand.
“Are you implying that I never do anything in the house to help you?” he asked.
“No,” she said, he voice changing in tone completely from her previous sentence. Lee noticed she was no longer angry but scared now.
“I shouldn’t have hit you,” Michael said calming down a little bit, “it’s just that you know how hard everything has been for me and how difficult I find everything. I worked really hard for years and years, providing for this family. I feel so hurt by how little you made of that just there and I saw red. I lashed out but I shouldn’t have. You need to realise that you can’t just say whatever you want though and remember that I do a lot for this family.”
“I know,” Maeve said, crying now, “I’m sorry I made you so angry.”
Lee wanted to be sick. His dad had convinced his mam that him hitting her was her own fault and Lee was hearing, with his own ears, his mam apologise for angering him so that he hit her.
“Let’s see what we have to eat will we?” Michael said and opened the freezer.
After a brief search he came up empty handed.
“I don’t think there’s anything we can substitute for turkey,” Maeve said, “only breaded chicken breasts.”
“That won’t do,” Michael said, he was angry again, “why did you have to forget the turkey?”
Maeve whimpered a sorry and Michael threw some frozen vegetables across the room. They didn’t hit Maeve but did break a plate near the sink and begin spilling all over the kitchen.
“You are such a stupid cow,” Michael roared at the top of his lungs, “you’ve ruined Christmas, the one day in the year when I get to relax.”
“Honey, calm down,” Maeve pleaded, “or Lee will hear you.”
“The boy?” Michael said and his anger rose further, “you’ve managed to turn him against me to haven’t you?” he asked sarcastically; “he’s convinced I am some sort of abusive alcoholic. I bet when I’m out looking for work you are whispering all sorts of terrible things into his ears the poor lad. He doesn’t know whether he’s coming or going anymore. Thinking his whore of a mother is a victim of abuse and that his dad is some monster abusing her when he’s drunk, which is probably all the time in your warped mind. You probably tell him I’m off in the pub when I’m out looking for work. You liar.”
As he was speaking Michael was making a fist. He punched Maeve in the face and caused her to fall over and smack her head off the counter. She was bleeding from her nose and the back of her head when she hit the floor.
Michael put a pillow from the sitting room under her head and while he was gone Lee ran to the phone and called the police.
They were there in minutes; Lee found this surprising because it was Christmas day. They came in and found Maeve on the kitchen floor, as had been described in the emergency call.
She was brought to the hospital to see if she was concussed or had any other head trauma. Michael was taken into the front room for questioning because the officers did not want to interrupt his Christmas any further than it had been.
Michael told them that he had been in the sitting room when he heard some commotion. He ran into the kitchen when he heard something smash, the plate. He said that it appeared as if his wife had gotten angry because they had forgotten to buy the turkey and had no alternative, appropriate meat for Christmas dinner. In her anger she appears to have slipped and hit her head off the counter, causing the bloody nose, and hit the ground causing the gash on her head. Michael made it clear he was not a witness to the fall and was only guessing at what might have occurred but that it was obvious she was bleeding in two places. He admitted to resting her head on the pillow, which made the female officer smile and remark about how good a husband he was.
Lee was outside the room listening to his dad the whole time. He was disgusted by the lies his father was telling the police officers. The officers came out to him and asked him to join him in the room as he would have to be questioned as well.
“Lee knows nothing,” Michael was saying as he was led in, “he was upstairs the whole time and didn’t come down until he heard the sirens outside, isn’t that right lad?”
“Is he leaving?” Lee asked the officer, ignoring his father.
“As you are under eighteen you will need to have an adult here with you, and someone that is not on the force,” the policeman explained.
“Okay,” Lee said and looked at his father.
“Were you upstairs?” the officer asked, “did you see anything happen to your mother.”
Lee was silent as he stared at his father. He was thinking about whether or not Michael would get away with what he had done and then come after Maeve and himself. It would be better to say nothing than allow him to get more angry and come home from prison at New Years, when Lee wasn’t at home, and let him take his anger out on his mam.
Michael was nodding at Lee, but he could see that Lee was miles away in thought. An ounce of panic arose in Michael’s throat, “tell the man where you were,” Michael said slowly, but Lee knew, threateningly as well.
He had made up his mind. To protect his mam he would have to lie and convince her to tell the truth when she woke up, or he got back from Joshua’s dads in the new year.
“I was upstairs,” Lee said, almost robotically, “I didn’t see or hear anything. I only saw my mam after dad had placed a pillow beneath her head. He’s a good dad and a good husband,” Lee lied, “can I go now?”
“You can,” the male officer said.
“Thanks Lee,” the female one said and placed a hand on his shoulders, “sorry about ruining your Christmas.”
Lee faked a smile at her left the room. Once the sitting-room door was closed he ran to the bathroom and threw up. Then he leaned against the locked door and the tears began to flow. He slid down along the door as the tears fell. He apologised to his mother in whispers about how he couldn’t tell the police the truth and hoped he wasn’t doing the wrong thing.
It was a long time before he came out. When he did he turned to Michael and informed him he was going to the hospital to wait for his mam to wake up.
“No you aren’t,” Michael said.
“Why not dad?” Lee asked, “someone should be with her in there.”
“We haven’t had dinner yet,” Michael pointed out.
“Are you making it?” Lee asked; sounding surprised.
“No, I thought you could,” Michael said, “you know I’m a useless cook. You are much better than I am at it.”
“Fine,” Lee said, “I’ll cook some food, afterwards I am going to the hospital okay?”
He didn’t wait for answer from his father but headed to the kitchen and, closing the door behind him, began work on ‘Christmas’ dinner.
*          *         *          *          *
27th of December 2016
Hey Joshua,
I got your invitation to come with you and your dad for the New Year. Could I please join you? I would be delighted to and I need to get away from here as soon as I can.
Lee.

30th of December 2016
There was a knock on the door, Maeve was still not out of hospital and Lee could not wait to leave his dad behind for a few days. All he did was sit on the sofa and watch crap that he shouldn’t be watching as he drank himself into oblivion. If it wasn’t for the fact that Lee could cook both he, and his dad, would have starved to death over the past few days.
Lee went to answer the door. It was Joshua.
“Hey Lee,” he said brightly as his friend opened the front door, “I’m so excited you’re coming with us. Normally it’s just me and father and his friend so it will be good to have someone for me to talk to and not just be by myself a lot of the time.”
“I’m really excited to be going too,” Lee said as he moved aside for Joshua to come inside, “thanks so much for inviting me.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Is your dad outside in the car?” Lee asked, “would he like to come in for a cup of tea?”
“He’s eager to get going so I would think we should just get your stuff and head out,” Joshua said.
“I’ll just go and tell my dad,” Lee said as he entered the living room.
“Dad?” Lee called, not sure if he would be awake or asleep, “I just wanted to let you know that Joshua and his father are here and I am heading off with them until the fifth of January. I’ve left some simple recipes on the kitchen work surface so you can prepare some easy meals. Please look after yourself.”
“Lee?” his dad called as Lee was leaving the room again, thinking there would be no response.
“Yeah dad,” Lee replied coming back in.
“Why didn’t you cook it and freeze it for me? That’s what your mother would have done.”
“I’m obviously not as on the ball as mam is,” Lee replied, trying to keep his cool he should have just left this man starve.
“Evidently,” Michael said as he opened another can.
“Bye dad,” Lee said and left the room.
Joshua was standing outside and looked at Lee sadly as he came out of the room; “I heard what was said,” he admitted to Lee, “I’m sorry.”
“It’s ok,” Lee said, “let’s just go. I need to be away from here for awhile.”
“Okay,” Joshua said as Lee picked up his things.

Joshua’s dad drove a red Honda Accord with a 2014 registration plate. He was about six feet tall with long, straight, dark hair and deep-set blue eyes. His face had a warmth about them and it was clear to Lee that he was a man that kept himself active. Despite being in his mid forties he looked only in his twenties. That was besides his face, although warm and friendly it looked old and haggard, not tired per se, but more like he had seen a lot in his time on earth; a lot of pain and hardship.
“Hello Lee,” he said the friendliness of his face and eyes equally evident in his voice, “Joshua has told me a lot about you, it’s nice to finally meet you,” Joshua’s dad said as he lifted Lee’s stuff into the trunk of the car.
“Nice to finally meet you Mr Tetra,” Lee said as he shook the man’s hand.
“Please,” Joshua’s dad said, “call me Jacob.”
“Jacob,” Lee repeated, “okay.”
“Shall we go?” he asked as Joshua jumped into the back seat of the car. Lee sat in beside him.
Jacob Tetra got into the front seat and started the engine and they were off.
“Where are we going?” Lee asked as they left the city.
“Didn’t Joshua tell you?” Jacob asked, “We have a house near the beach in County Kerry. It’s only a little two bedroomed thing but it is a nice place. You’ll have to share a room with him,” Mr Tetra said as he thrust a thumb back at his son, “if that’s okay with you?”
“That’s fine Jacob,” Lee said.
“I’m sorry,” Joshua said when his father’s attention was back on the road, “I thought I had told you. It’s a lovely place. The main road to Killarney, the N70 runs outside it. Well actually that goes to Kenmare and then the N71 goes to Killarney from there, but anyway, we think of it as the Killarney Road. The house is off the road though. A small forest surrounds it, with very few other houses near it; there are a few farms around. The house has a backyard which becomes a beach, we don’t own the beach but it is only separated from the house by a fence with a gate and so it sort of feels like we do own the place. Inside there is only one floor. You come in on the west side of the house and there is a sitting room to your right and a kitchen straight in front of you. A corridor on the right brings you to the two bedrooms and a bathroom.”
“Scenically it sounds beautiful,” Lee commented.
“It is,” Joshua began.
“It is one of my favourite parts of Ireland,” Jacob said and Joshua went quiet to allow his father to speak, “I first fell in love with it a long time ago. Although the landscape has changed a lot since then it still is a really beautiful place. I like where our little house is, as Joshua said it is relatively untouched, almost still the same way God made it, except for the road, and our house, that is. We have some breath-taking views though. I hope you will enjoy them when we get there.”
“I’m not really a nature person,” Lee admitted, “though I’m sure it’s lovely.”
“We love nature.” Joshua said when it was obvious his father was not going to say anything, “don’t we father?”
“We do son,” Jacob replied, “how is your mother by the way?” Jacob asked Lee, “I hope you don’t mind that Joshua told me about what you think has been going on?”
“I don’t mind at all,” Lee replied, “we discussed him telling you and I told him it was probably a good thing to do.”
“I’m glad,” Jacob replied, “how is she?”
“She’s not good at all,” Lee admitted, “he put her in hospital on Christmas day.”
“What? Are you sure it was him?” Joshua said blurting out.
“Joshua,” Jacob chastised, “it’s very sad. Who would have thought Michael Kennedy would turn out to be such?”
“Do you know my dad?” Lee asked Jacob.
“He has encountered me a couple of times,” Jacob said, “but I would not say that I know him, or that he knows me though.”
“When did you meet him?” Lee asked.
“It was a long time ago. Before you were born, before he married your mother. It was the summer of 1986, your dad was sixteen and we were at a summer camp. He didn’t acknowledge my existence much during it but one night he did come and talk to me. I was really excited because I am the kind of person who likes everyone to be my friend.”
“What happened?” Lee asked.
“Well he talked to me for the rest of the camp but once we left we fell out of touch. He was a nice guy back then, I never would have thought he would turn out to be a person who beats his wife and causes her to be hospitalised.”
“What happened?” Joshua asked.
“Mam asked him to buy the turkey but he forgot so we had none on Christmas Day. Dad was angry about this and blamed mam, excepting no responsibility for what happened himself. They sent me to my room but I went to the kitchen where mam came looking for something else to cook.
“Dad followed her into the kitchen and he threw some stuff around the room and shouted at her a bit. I think that some frozen meat or vegetables broke a plate. Then my dad got really angry and hit, or punched, my mam in the face and she fell over and hit the back of her head off the counter and went unconscious. I phoned the police but when they got there my dad had to be with me when I gave evidence and I was too scared to say anything bad about him, or about what he did, in front of him in case he attacked mam again when she got out. Instead I told them I was upstairs, like my dad told them, and that I saw nothing but came down and saw my mam unconscious on the floor.”
“Lee, that’s horrible to hear,” Jacob said.
“There is no doubt left about what he is doing now then?” Joshua asked.
“None,” Lee agreed, “what do I do?”
“Unfortunately there is not much you can do,” Jacob said, “except be there for your mother and encourage her to speak out about what happened to her.”
“I’m hoping she will want to do that when she gets out of hospital,” Lee admitted, “I’m afraid if she stays around him much longer she will just keep getting beaten up, and if she has any more falls like the one she had Christmas day she might not live. He would never kill her on purpose but he might just do it by accident.”
“It is important that you talk to her,” Jacob said, “let her know she has your support.”
“Yeah,” Lee replied, “Joshua said that. I tried to do it in November but she wouldn’t talk about it with me.”
“Maybe she is ready to now,” Joshua said and placed a comforting hand on Lee’s shoulder.
“Do you know if she has spoken with anyone else?” Jacob asked Lee.
“Not that I am aware,” Lee replied sadly, “I’m not sure if she even has anyone else she can talk to. I haven’t seen any of her friends in around a year and a half.”
“That’s not a good thing,” Jacob said warningly.
“Why not father?” Joshua asked as Jacob withdrew to his own head.
“It means that she is aware that what her husband is doing is wrong but she does not want any of her friends to see what he is doing and judge her harshly because of it, or judge him harshly. It may be that she blames herself for what is happening and so wants to hide it from everyone around her,” Jacob explained.
“If that’s the case,” Lee questioned, “what do I do to convince her that it isn’t her fault?”
“There are plenty of women’s magazines that carry stories about abused women, or websites even, one of those stories may inspire her to stand up for herself or to realise that this is not her own fault,” Jacob advised.
“I think you could try getting a friend back in touch,” Joshua suggested, “would you have any of their numbers or access to any of their numbers?”
“I have one or two,” Lee said, “I know mam’s best friend, Sarah, she would be more than happy to help.”
“That’s what you do then,” Joshua said, “relationship restoration is always a good thing, so if we can mend some bridges while getting your mother away from a relationship that is dangerous.”
“It would be good if they could stay together,” Lee said picking up on Joshua’s ‘relationship restoration’ comment.
“It would,” Joshua agreed, “sometimes the best way to relate to someone is to be apart though,” he added, “if your dad hurts your mum then it would be best for him to leave her be and if she loves him perhaps she needs to leave him before he realises his mistakes and begins to make up for them.”
“That’s true,” Lee said, taking it all in.

After discussing a few more things for another hour or so Jacob finally stopped the car. He had been right about the scenery. The house was just off the road but was surrounded by trees. The other side of the road had a hill with a path to the top. The house was petit and yellow and you could hear the sound of the ocean behind the cottage and smell the sea in your nostrils as you stepped out of the car.
Jacob gave Joshua the key to the front door and he unloaded the car. Lee helped him carry the contents into the house. Joshua was inside turning on the electricity, which they left turned off when they weren’t using the house.
Joshua came and took his stuff and showed Lee to the room on the right down the corridor, it would be their room while they were staying in the house. The room was painted a light blue and had two single beds. There was a big window that looked out at the beach. Lee watched, and smiled, as the waves hit the rocks off to the east of the house. The two beds in the light blue room faced the window. There was a wardrobe along the wall that was at a right angle to the wall with the window and the door opened so that the wardrobe wall was behind it. Each bed had a bedside table and on the other wall there was a TV with a small, two-seater settee facing it.
“This is a lovely room,” Lee commented eventually.
“I know,” Joshua said, “father did well with this house.”
“Can we go outside and see the beach?” Lee asked.
“We are going to go walk up the hill the other side. There is a little restaurant just over it, it should take an hour to get there. Then we have some movies you and I can watch on that big screen while father goes and meets his friend.”
“Cool,” Lee said and changed out of his jeans into tracksuit, which would be more appropriate for a hill walk.

“We’re going to go into town and see the fireworks tonight; if that’s okay with you boys?” Jacob called from the gate looking on to the beach where Joshua and Lee were throwing a Frisbee.
“I love fireworks,” Lee said, “they are so awesome.”
“I’m glad,” Joshua replied, “Father and I go every year; it’s like a tradition.”
“We’re both coming,” Joshua shouted back to Jacob who smiled a warm smile and headed back into the house as Lee’s phone rang.
Lee answered the phone and put it to his ear, “hello?” he said.
“Hi Lee, it’s your dad. Just ringing to let you know that your mother is getting out of hospital today. I’m going to pick her up in a little while. Hope you are enjoying yourself and that. Looking forward to seeing you when you get back in a few days, and I’m sure your mother will be too.”
He disconnected the phone before Lee could say anything.
“Who was that?” Joshua asked, noting the fact that Lee was upset by something; he was holding his phone about two inches from his face and was staring at it as if it had committed the gravest of sins.
“My dad,” Lee replied, “he says my mam is coming out of hospital…”
“That’s great news,” Joshua said a little too quickly.”
“Today,” Lee pointed out, “meaning that she will be home with dad for a few days without me.”
“It’s okay,” Joshua said taking the phone out of Lee’s outstretched hand, “he won’t hurt her again so soon.”
Lee said nothing. He just walked away from his friend staring into the horizon, where the sea met the sky.

Lee was with them later on as they drove into town in order to watch the firework display that would see in the New Year. He had talked with his mother on the phone just after she got home and knew she was doing well and so his concern for her well being had lessened, though not disappeared.
Arriving at the little town they watched the firework display. The colours of the fireworks fascinated Lee, there were many more than you would see in Innishannon anyway. He left Joshua and Jacob behind as he moved to get closer and closer after a better view; at least that is what Joshua and Jacob believed.
Lee had the desire to have some fireworks. He got close to the person firing them off and nicked five before he even noticed. He hid them in his coat and went and stowed them in Jacob’s car, having gotten the keys from him.

Two nights later, at about four am, Lee snuck out of the house while Joshua and Jacob were sleeping. He lit the fireworks and ran for cover to watch as they blew up. The first shot into the sky with a whirring sound and exploded in bright blue light, the ashes falling into the sea. The second did the same but it exploded three times with three smaller red lights. The third shot up multi-coloured explosions in lines. Lee relaxed and imagined his problems were exploding in all those colours. The fourth firework shot up a double line, which exploded into what looked like a purple and a green hourglass with crackling yellow and blue in the background. The final firework exploded but Lee didn’t see it in the sky. He wondered was it perhaps a smaller one that stayed nearer the ground and he missed it because he moved to the front of the house to watch it. Then the firework exploded in a massive bright pink explosion. Lee saw it reflected in the window.
He turned around to look for the fizzling explosion in the sky but didn’t see anything. Turning back towards the house he saw a new light. The firework was after setting something out the back on fire. Lee ran around the house and saw that he was wrong. The firework had crashed into Jacob’s bedroom window and was now setting the room alight.
Lee ran back around the front of the house and inside to wake Jacob and Joshua up. He woke Joshua up and they went and banged on the door of Jacob’s room. Jacob didn’t answer and they couldn’t hear anything from inside.
“What happened?” Joshua asked as they ran outside.
“I heard an explosion and then went into the hall and saw smoke coming from your dad’s room,” Lee explained.
Joshua ran to the front window and banged on it. He could see the fire inside.
“Look,” Lee pointed across the room, “the other window is broken, we can get in from there.”
Joshua nodded and began to run, when they were at the side of the house they heard Jacob calling.
“Boys,” he roared over the sounds of fire and something crashing to the ground inside the house, “get up and get out… fast.”
Joshua turned around and ran to his dad, “father,” he shouted as he jumped into his arms, “we thought you were inside.”
“I went for a short walk, I came back as fast as I could when I thought I saw fireworks?”
“Really?” Joshua asked, “where?”
“Coming from right about here,” Jacob said, “did you buys have fireworks?”
“No,” Joshua said, “we were both asleep, weren’t we Lee?”
“Yeah,” Lee lied, “I heard an explosion, which woke me and I came out to look and saw smoke coming from your room, so woke Joshua up and tried to get you up as well,” Lee explained his thought out lie.
Jacob nodded and ran to the shed pulling a power hose out he turned it on and began spraying into the room through the broken back window. It wasn’t long before he had the fire out.
“Get your things,” he said to Joshua and Lee when it was safe to go back into the house, “we’ll have to try and find a hotel or bed and breakfast to stay in tonight and I will assess the damage when it’s light again.”
Joshua and Lee got their things and the three of them drove into the night looking for somewhere to sleep. They were unsuccessful and only found an open hotel in the morning when they began to open again. The hotelier took pity on them and allowed them to check in much earlier than was normal when Jacob told him their story. It was eight am by the time they were lying down to sleep. It would be another hour before it got bright outside. The curtains in the rooms seemed really thick though and would hopefully keep the light out.

Jacob got someone to take Lee home later that day; he would have to stay and try and get a builder to look at the house. He was fuming since four pm, when they all woke up. Jacob was convinced he had seen fireworks and couldn’t but ask himself who would want to endanger his life, and the life of his son, by shooting a firework in the back window of his house.
Lee had suggested that perhaps it had been an accident and someone was shooting off fireworks and one went astray.
“That couldn’t be” Jacob had remarked, “why would someone be out that far?”
At times it appeared to Lee as if both Joshua and Jacob knew it was him, or at least strongly suspected it, and were giving him every opportunity they could to own up to it. Jacob was, as well as giving out, also making sure that both boys knew there would be forgiveness if they owned up.
Lee couldn’t own up though. His family was in a delicate enough situation as it was and if they had this added there was no telling what Michael Kennedy would do. He could blame Lee’s mam and attack her for what Lee did. Anyway, Jacob was going on about forgiveness; but to be forgiven one has to be sorry. Lee wasn’t sorry, not that he stole those fireworks at least. He was sorry that one went through the window; but he figured if he owned up to one bit and apologised there would be a lot more trouble, and apologising, later. This meant that Lee decided to stay quiet.
He got home with his silence, and ‘innocence’ intact.
“Mam?” Lee called as he entered the house, “mam, I’m home, where are you?”
“I’m in the kitchen love,” Maeve called, “good to have you back.”
“Is dad here?” Lee asked.
“No, he’s gone to the… out, he’ll be back later.”
“Okay, that’s good because I want to talk to you,” Lee said as he opened the door to the kitchen.
Maeve was wearing a red dress with a darker red cardigan over it. She looked as if she was planning to go out somewhere.
“Mam,” Lee commented taken aback, “are you going somewhere?”
“No,” Maeve replied, “your father prefers it when I look my best,” she stated matter-of-factly.
It was only then that Lee noticed it, there was a bruise on her face.
“How did you get that?” Lee asked her.
“Oh this?” nonchalantly Maeve asked as she rubbed the bruise, she winced, which Lee noted, “that is from when I feel.”
“Mam, it’s too sore to be over a week old,” Lee pointed out.
“It’s not sore,” Maeve lied.
“I saw you wince when you touched it,” Lee said, “did dad do that, is that why you are wearing a dress like that, so he doesn’t hit you again?”
“Lee Michael Kennedy,” Maeve shouted, “how dare you say such a thing against your own father. He would never hit me and I am wearing this dress because I want to, not because your dad has forced me to.”
“Mam,” Lee said slowing his voice down and trying to keep his cool, “I know dad hit you, I know you were in hospital because of him and I’m ninety-nine per cent sure this bruise is from dad hitting you again and now you are dolled to the nines to try and stop him from hitting you again but he won’t stop mam, he won’t stop. You need to do something about it.”
“Lee,” Mrs Kennedy said, taken aback by Lee’s outburst, “I don’t know what you saw the day I went into hospital but it most certainly was not what you are saying it was. I won’t have your father spoken about like that in his own home. It’s an outrage. He would be furious…”
“You could have died,” Lee said, emotions were beginning to get the better of him and a tear slipped down his cheek, “if you keep letting him get away with hitting you then he will keep hitting you; and if he keeps hitting you then the next time something like Christmas happens, and he hits you hard enough to send you to hospital you might not get back out.”
“Lee…” Maeve began.
“You could die!” Lee shouted, interrupting his mother.
“Lee,” Maeve shouted back, “go to your room, now.”
“Mam, you have to listen to me,” Lee begged.
“Not to this nonsense I don’t,” Mrs Kennedy shouted, “now go before I get really cross with you.”
“Fine,” Lee said, “it’s your funeral.”
“Lee,” Maeve sighed, “please just go.”
“Okay,” Lee said and slammed the door behind him knocking a picture off the wall so the glass smashed on the floor.
As he walked away he thought he could hear his mam crying.
“Please let her listen to me,” he almost prayed.

Saturday, 13 April 2013

Milestone Number 1 10,000 words!

Hello gentle readers.

This is a short blog to let you know that my as of yet untitled 'book by July' book has reached its FIRST MAJOR MILESTONE.

That's right we have reached 10,000 words. For any of you interested the 10,oooth word is 'dad' not very exciting I know but definitely exciting that we have gotten here.

The book is planned to be 70,000 words. That means I am 1/7th of the way there. Keep your eyes peeled for chapter 2 which will be posted around Monday night/ Tuesday morning with the help of God.

Also I am making a change. I have started with Lee being 13 but I think he needs to be a little older so Lee will now be 16... So he isn't a first year at secondary school he is a transition year/ sophomore in High School...

Until Monday gentle readers.

~

Tuesday, 9 April 2013

Chapter 1


1. Joshua:

“Lee, honey, time for school,” Lee’s mother called him one morning in October.
Sometimes school is an escape. “Coming mam,” Lee said as he got out of bed.
I am a quiet guy. People generally don’t bother me, except when they are being bullies. Mam and dad are fighting even more than normal these days. Mam is just so sick of dad’s drinking habits. To be honest, because of all the fighting even I am getting sick of dad. I wish he could compromise a little. Mam has had to give up so much from her, more grandiose, previous lifestyle. Dad could be understanding and have two less drinks some week so she could get her nails done, or a facial, or whatever it is old women do. The reason it is so tough lately is that dad got let go from his second job. Mam and I both know that he will walk into another one really easily. He is very well educated after all. We don’t know why he lost this one though. The last place he worked was sold and they sought voluntary redundancies. Dad took one because the pay out was massive. This time, though, the company he is working for isn’t closing down, changing hands or even seeking voluntary redundancies; mam and I are baffled as to why he was let go. He has one of the best minds of his generation.
Anyway, I digress, the reason I enjoy school so much at the moment is that there is much less fighting there than there is here. With mam and dad always arguing, and dad at home more than he has every been before, it is a welcome break to have a few hours without all the shouting in school.

“Hey,” a boy Lee didn’t recognise said to him as he sat next to him in math class.
“Hi,” Lee replied out of politeness.
Lee didn’t want anyone sitting beside him and it was unusual for someone to do so. Lee normally sat by himself in most of his classes, except one or two when Drew sat beside him. Drew wasn’t in Lee’s math class though, and so Lee was used to sitting alone.
“I’m Joshua,” the other boy said, “I’m new here.”
“Dude,” Lee looked at him incredulously, “it is mid October. We are all new here.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s true. Anyway who are you?” Joshua asked Lee.
“I’m Lee,” Lee replied, “Lee Kennedy.”
“It’s nice to meet you Lee,” Joshua said.
“You too,” Lee lied.
“I like your watch,” Joshua said pointing to Lee’s watch.
“It was my grandfather’s,” Lee said as he looked at it himself. Lee smiled, unbeknownst to himself.
Joshua noticed the smile, “has he passed on?” he asked.
“Hmm?” Lee looked at the other boy, being dragged out of his reminiscing.
“Your grandfather?” Joshua reiterated, “did he die?”
“Yeah,” Lee confided.
“Were you close?”
“Not really, but I look back on him with fond memories. The grandfather that gave me this watch, he was my mam’s father. He was a kind man, as I remember him. He dealt with a lot in his life. No wars or anything, not like his own father would have had to deal with, but still a lot. My mam was a bit of a feminist and got herself into some bad stuff with the wrong set of people. Granddad helped her get away from those people and out of those situations. To me, in my life, he always had a kind word to say. He had a warm smile and love that was truly evident in his actions. That was something he always told me was important. He said that there was no point saying to someone that you love them if you can’t show that love as well. One of the things I remember him saying most was ‘if a picture is worth a thousand words, a good deed is worth a million.’ He never turned old, like some people do. He was always young and his mind was always sharp. Even though he had gotten a lot fatter than when he was a child, and a lot greyer too, he never seemed old. Wise, definitely, but never old. He used to talk to me like he was my age; something my parents never did. He used to play games with me as if he were my age as well. He would chase me around his little house and his little garden and he would teach me words to use in Scrabble and help me to beat mam when we played. Sometimes I miss him a lot, other times I know he is in a better place and that’s enough for me.” Lee said with a tear in his eye.
“How did he die?” Joshua asked.
“He was in his garden digging up some weeds one day when he had a stroke. He survived the stroke and it had very little affect on him. Mrs Headerton, his neighbour, saw him fall over and went to see if he was okay. She was able to call an ambulance on his cordless landline phone as soon as she saw him and he got to the hospital before any major damage was done. He made a full recovery,” Lee told the story, more tears fell, “we thought he would be fine. He was too, for a little while. He kept playing games and loving us, and giving his advice. All the things he did before the stroke. It was one month after he was released from hospital, my dad’s birthday, that he had an aneurism and died instantly.”
“I’m so sorry to hear that,” Joshua said and placed a comforting hand on Lee’s shoulder.
“He was alone Joshua. We were all preparing for a party for my dad and no one knew he was dying. It was only when he was four hours late, missed dinner and everything, that people began to notice he wasn’t there. I still feel sick at the thought of it. We all partied and didn’t realise that he wasn’t with us. I was only eight at the time but I still feel like I should have realised he was missing from the group. I didn’t though. None of us did. To be fair to most of the people there he was not part of their family. They were from dad’s side and so wouldn’t have even been aware of the fact that granddad planned to come. Dad, mam and I knew though, we had been with him the day before. We should have realised. Dad thought that he was probably just too weak and tired after going through so much so recently and so didn’t think to say anything. It’s so sad. He died alone. We should have been with him.”
“There was nothing you could have done,” Joshua said, “even if you were all with him the only thing you would be able to do is watch him fall to the ground and the life swiftly drain from his eyes. It would have been a horrible experience. Probably for the best that you weren’t with him.”
“Thanks Joshua.”
“No problem. Lee, I know for a fact that your grandfather is somewhere better and that even though he loved being here with you and your family he is much happier where he is now. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t miss you, or that you should stop missing him, but he is in a good place. I’ve heard it said that those who pass away are never truly gone: those who love them, and have memories of them hidden in their hearts, like you do of your grandfather, keep them living on. The memories those people have make it as if the person hasn’t gone anywhere. Your grandfather’s words were really wise as well. He told you to show your love by actions. It takes people a lifetime to realise that the best way to love is to love with actions and not just words.
“You see people think love is a feeling, but Lee it is so much more. Love is a choice and love is an action. Your grandfather hit the nail on the head all those times he told you to love with your actions. Remember those words. They will serve you well in your life, your relationships, your marriage and your work life. Loving is so important and I am so grateful you shared that story with me. I will treasure it and the words of your grandfather as you do. He is a very wise man indeed.”
Lee sat looking at Joshua with a sense of wonder; “thank you Joshua,” he eventually managed through tears. The tears were not ones of sadness, as was usual when Lee thought of his grandfather, but ones of joy; the joy that his grandfather left in his heart through his kindness and wisdom.
Just then the bell rang, and the math class ended. Joshua and Lee left the classroom and Joshua began to turn left. Lee was going right.
“You aren’t going to Mr Sexton’s English?” Lee asked Joshua.
“Unfortunately not, I have Ms Ryan, she is a good teacher though, I like her style.” Joshua said as he turned back to Lee.
“Thanks,” Lee said to him.
“You’re welcome,” Joshua said and smiled, “Look after yourself,” he added, placing a hand on Lee’s shoulder again.
“Ah… you too?” Lee reiterated the strange sentiment, “see you tomorrow in maths?”
“You will indeed,” Joshua said and removed his hand, then turned to walk towards Ms Ryan’s classroom.


14th of October 2016.
I promised I would check back if anything interesting happened in my life. Let it never be said that I am not a man that is true to his word. I met a really interesting young man today. His name is Joshua and he sat next to me in math class. He looked a lot more unique than people in the school normally do. We all wear the same uniform. It consists of black trousers and a grey jumper with the school crest on it and a green, black and white trim around the neck, wrists and waist. We wear green shirts underneath this and a tie that has the same colours as the trim; each colour stands for something but I don’t remember what exactly.
Joshua was different though, even in the same uniform as everyone else. He has long, brown hair. This is unusual because the policy for hair in the school is short. He also had blue eyes. They are very deep. I don’t know much about eyes but granddad used to say that they are ‘a window to the soul’. If that is true then I think Joshua’s soul is very old. His eyes are a deep blue, and they have a lot of kindness in them, but, and I am no eye expert, as I’ve already said, but I get the impression they have seen a lot: a lot of pain, hurt, misery and also a lot of good, love and kindness. They also seemed to be looking right into my soul, which was very strange for me. It was strange because I am so quiet, and so people barely notice me. To be noticed like Joshua noticed me, like he really noticed me, was very strange for me.
Also he said things. He has a kind and gentle way about saying them but he definitely said some interesting things. One thing that struck me a lot was what he said about where my grandfather is. He said that he was sure that he was in a better place. The thing about it is that it’s as impossible as anything to know whether someone, when they die, is in the best place or not. He said it with such conviction though. Joshua said granddad was in a better place as if he knew, as if he had seen that better place. I hope he isn’t some religious nut, into God and all that weird stuff. I am one hundred and ninety-four per cent sure that God isn’t real. If there was a God, and if he is good, like all the religions say, then why does he allow so much pain in the world? I don’t understand how there can be earthquakes, twisters, tsunamis, volcano eruptions; rape, genocide, murder, theft and the list could go on and on. If there is a good God then why would he allow all of that trouble to the people he supposedly created and loves?
Sorry, I keep going off my topic lately, it’s because I don’t write in this diary much and so, when I do, I have a lot to say. It’s annoying really because I find my thoughts are hard to gather sometimes and so when I write I write a blur of information. Where was I before I was talking about God? Joshua.
I really hope that he isn’t some religious nut job. He is a very nice guy though. I like him a lot. He is kind and caring and I think he and I could be good friends. I wonder where he comes from. He said he was new in the school. Did he transfer from another school? It seems really early in the year for him to have done that, though, doesn’t it? Who goes to a school only to move schools almost as soon afterwards? Maybe he was there all the time? I feel like I would have seen him around if he were in the school before today, hair like that doesn’t go unseen in a school like mine. I don’t know if it really matters if he was there before now or not. What matters is that he is there now and he seems to care about me. I do hope he isn’t some religious nut though.

“Hey Joshua,” Lee said the next day as he saw him sitting on the chair beside his in math class, “how are you?”
“I’m good,” Joshua said as he patted the seat beside him, “sit here?”
“Of course,” Lee said and took the seat.
As the teacher began to set questions and do some examples on the whiteboard Lee turned to Joshua and asked him, “are you religious?”
“Sorry?” Joshua said and looked at his new friend, he clearly hadn’t heard what he had been asked.
“Are you religious?” Lee repeated the question.
“Not in the slightest,” Joshua answered, “I detest religion, it turns my stomach and makes me feel sick. The fact that so many people have died in the name of this thing, and many more will kill in the name of it. I think those that profess to be religious leaders need to be the most careful of all. There are some good, genuine people in these positions; but there are also some who put burdens on people and cause them to do things that they do not need to do, nor should do.”
“I understand,” Lee said, “do you like any religion?”
“As I have said I’m not a fan of it. It is hypocrisy and it makes me very sad. Religion is about rules bringing you to God but I don’t think God is like that. I don’t think He wants you to follow a set of particular rules and then ‘shazam’ you’re okay. I think he is more interested in relationships you know: us with Him and us with each other.”
“Do you believe in a Higher Power than yourself?” Lee asked.
“There is always something that is a higher power than you Lee,” Joshua said, “at your stage in life, in a small town, in a small country we are pretty powerless.”
“What I mean is do you believe in a God that is more powerful than you are and can decide your fate?” Lee clarified.
Joshua thought about this for a minute, “no,” he finally answered, that is not something I believe in.
“Good,” Lee sighed.
“Why good?” Joshua asked him.
“Well,” Lee opened up to this new kid with the long hair and the deep blue, knowing eyes again, “when you said yesterday that my grandfather was in a better place you said it with such conviction that I thought you must be some sort of religious weirdo that believed in God and Heaven and the Afterlife and all that stuff.”
“I do believe that, and I am sure that, a man with the convictions your grandfather had, is in heaven.”
“I guess it’s a nice idea isn’t it?” Lee said in a dream-like voice.
“What is?” Joshua asked.
“Heaven and a God that loves us,” Lee said.
“You have no idea,” Joshua replied and smiled to himself.

*          *         *          *          *

“Hey mam,” Lee said as he got home from school that day. He was in high spirits because he had discovered that Joshua was not some religious nut, as he had feared the boy was, and that he thought a lot of the same things as Lee did about religion, religious leaders and the hypocrisy of it all.
“Hi honey,” Lee’s mam said, knowing that he was at the front door, but unable to see him, “can you go to your room please?”
“What?” Lee asked, “what did I do?”
“Nothing honey, I just need you to go to your room,” Mrs Kennedy said.
“Why?” Lee asked as he moved from the front door towards the kitchen.
“Can you please just go to your room?” Maeve shouted.
Lee kept walking towards the kitchen. He was worried about what he would find and why his mam wanted him to stay away.
The door was ajar but not open. Lee pushed his way into the room and saw his mother and father. They were both looking out at him. Lee’s mother had a cut on the right side of her face, there was a small line of blood dripping from the centre of the gash. Lee’s father had a knife in his hand, one Lee had only ever seen him use for carving the Sunday roasts.
“What happened?” Lee asked as he moved his hands in front of his body, in the direction of his father, palms facing outwards.
“Now look what you did,” Lee’s father said, “our boy is scared of me and is standing defensively in the corner of the kitchen eying me with suspicion.”
“Lee honey,” Maeve said, “it’s okay. Your dad was just helping me with the dinner when I turned around, and he turned around too fast and he was holding the knife up the air and then, silly me, I turned right into it.”
“You did?” Lee asked, looking at his mother in disbelief, “that sounds like an almost impossible situation to get yourself into mam.”
“You heard your mother, she told you what happened. Now get her a bandage,” Michael Kennedy said, still holding the knife in a tight fist.
“How about you put down the knife first dad?” Lee said to him, hands still between his body and his father.
Michael looked at the knife and it was as if he just realised it was there. His eyes widened and he dropped the knife to the floor. Whatever Maeve had been holding in she let it out in a deep breath as the knife hit the floor.
“Why didn’t you want me to come in, if that’s all that happened?” Lee asked, eyeing both his parents suspiciously now.
“We didn’t want you to jump to the conclusion you are, right now, jumping to,” his father said.
“If mam was truly hurt by accident,” Lee began, “when you heard my voice as I came in the door you wouldn’t have freaked out and told me to stay away, you would have asked me to get the band aids from the medicine cabinet to dress the cut.”
“Are you saying I did this on purpose?” Michael asked, his fist clenching up again.
“No, no, he isn’t saying that at all are you dear?” Mrs Kennedy pleaded and looked to her son.
Lee saw the look in her eyes and knew that she was scared of what Michael would do if he said anything to make him more angry.
“Of course not,” Lee said, “I’m just being suspicious when there is no need for it. You know us teenagers. I’ll be in my room, studying, or playing video games, or doing something us teenagers do. I’ll see you both at dinner.”
He emphasised the both and left; my dad is abusing my mam, was all he could think.

Lee didn’t know what to do. He knew that if had been abused by his dad there was a number to call, but what do you do when it’s your mam being abused by your dad. There is no number for that. So he did all he could do. He tried to drown out the shouting by playing loud shooter video games, he took his anger out on the virtual reality bad guys and made sure every single one of them was dead. It was the best he could do to keep himself from going mad. He had no more math classes during the week and so he had to suffer on without Joshua, who, outside of math classes, appeared to be a very elusive guy altogether, it was as if he didn’t exist at all.
Joshua seemed to have gone largely unnoticed in the school. People didn’t recognise the name when Lee asked others in his year about him. Joshua seemed to be making no friends in the school whatsoever and this made Lee a little sad, because Lee knew that if someone talked to Joshua they would see how nice a guy he was.

It wouldn’t have been long, only four days, until Lee had another maths class in which he could see Joshua. He was excited as the day came around, people thought it was really strange because Lee never liked maths class and now he was talking about going to it like his life depended on it.
“Everyone knows we won’t use maths in real life,” Drew said to Lee once he had gotten sick of him being so excited about maths.
Lee didn’t answer, he waited for Drew to think about what he had said by himself.
“Except for shops and paying for things and stuff,” Drew finally added, “why are you so hyped up about going to Maths class?”
“I’m not ‘hyped up’,” Lee replied, “it’s just that in maths I get to talk and think about things more than I do elsewhere.”
“That’s weird man, just saying… in maths I feel like I might be going insane.”
It turned out that Lee didn’t have to wait until the maths class after lunch break that day to talk to Joshua because Joshua walked right up to him in the corridor. It was the first time Lee had seen Joshua outside of the maths class and he was comforted in knowing that, unlike Drew, he wasn’t actually going insane in his maths class and having hallucinations of people who aren’t really there at all.
“Hey Lee, can we go for a walk?” Joshua asked as he approached Lee and Drew.
“Sure,” Lee said, “what’s up?” he asked.
“I saw you earlier and I thought something was making you upset. It looked serious enough that I didn’t want to wait until maths class,” Joshua explained.
“Thanks Joshua,” Lee said, “I found out some horrible news last week. Let’s talk as we walk.”
“What was it?” Joshua asked as the two of them left Drew standing watching after Lee looking a little hurt and confused that he would just walk away from him without any explanation.
“My dad, he was, I think he was, threatening my mother with a knife, I think he cut her across the face with it,” Lee explained when they were out of Drew’s earshot.
“Are you sure?” Joshua asked.
“Yeah, I think so,” Lee said sounding less sure of himself with each sentence.
“Tell me what happened?” Joshua asked.
“I got home and I called for my mam as I came in,” Lee began as he pictured the scene, “she told me to go to my room and not come into the kitchen where she was. My dad didn’t say anything. I wasn’t sure if he was even home at the time. I remember thinking about asking mam if he was or not but I didn’t.”
“Why not?” Joshua asked.
“There was something in my mam’s voice; something I haven’t heard before. She sounded panicked and under a lot of stress and I couldn’t understand why she sounded so hysterical. If she hadn’t sounded so hysterical I would probably have gone to my room. Well, no, I wouldn’t have because my mam wouldn’t unreasonably ask me to go to my room so if she did it would mean that something was wrong.
“I knew something was wrong. What kind of son would I be if I didn’t realise something was wrong with my own mother? So I insisted on not going to my room, pointing out I did nothing wrong and that I didn’t deserve to be sent to my room without, at least, an explanation of why I was being sent to my room.”
“That makes sense,” Joshua agreed.
“Anyway,” Lee nodded in thanks to Joshua for his support, “We spoke back and forth for a little bit until I eventually decided I had to go and see what was up and what was wrong with my mam.”
“What did you find?” Joshua asked.
“When I got to the kitchen door it was closed, which is unusual as the kitchen is normally so warm that my mam leaves the door open as she isn’t that much of a fan of the heat, you know?”
Joshua nodded, “did you open the door?” he asked.
“Yeah,” Lee continued, “and inside the kitchen there was my father and my mother.”
“Were they both okay?” Joshua asked a probing question to get his friend to open up more.
“Both of them were very clearly distressed. My mam was looking towards me at the door to the kitchen with a hint of panic in her eyes. Dad, on the other hand, looked more angry than distressed. This was added to by the fact that he had a knife in his hand.”
“A knife?” Joshua exclaimed.
“Yeah, when I looked at my mam again I noticed that she had a knife gash across her face. She was bleeding from the centre of the gash, with some red running down her face and onto the jumper she was wearing.”
“Did your dad…?” Joshua began.
“Mam says that she and he were preparing dinner together. My dad never helps her with dinner, normally he only shouts at her looking for it faster than she can possibly make it. So I knew dad wasn’t helping mam with the cooking. Mam said she turned around and dad was holding up the knife and whatever way she turned she put her face right into the knife causing the gash. That sounds so farfetched I knew straight away that it was a lie. I confronted dad about it, he was already angry because I had taken a defensive position towards him on seeing the knife in his hand, who got more angry with my mam and also with me, asking me what I was accusing him of and everything. I remember my mam giving me the eye, you know, the one that says ‘stop please’? Well I caught it and I knew what she was saying and so I stopped and told dad that I was being a silly teenager and letting my imagination run wild with me and then left them to it.
“That was a few days ago and either it was a once off occurrence or my parents have gotten better at hiding their disputes from me. Mam has no more visible cuts or bruising appearing on her and so I was thinking that maybe it actually was an accident and dad didn’t try and hurt her. It’s so upsetting to think that my dad could be physically harming my mam though,” Lee said sadly, “what can I do if she actually is being hurt by him?”
“You have to get her to realise that what your dad is doing is not right and then she can stand up to him and walk away,” Joshua said.
“Walk away?” Lee exclaimed, “it’s probably not that bad.”
“Maybe not, but maybe it is that serious,” Joshua said sadly.
“I guess I’ve never heard of a couple where abuse was ripe staying together,” Lee admitted, “which probably means that they will split up.”
“That’s if it really is abuse and wasn’t an accident,” Joshua supplied.
“I’m fairly sure it is though Joshua, I don’t want to believe it but I’m not sure if I have any option but to believe it because I have thought before that my dad has been verbally and mentally abusive towards my mam but I never thought it would become a physical thing. I still don’t want to believe that it has happened. This is my mam and dad you know? They are both very important to me and I need them both. Dad has had such a hard time with losing his job and working in a crap job and now losing that as well and I know I can’t make excuses for that kind of carry on, nor am I trying to, I just… they are my parents,” Lee was almost in tears.
“I know,” Joshua said giving Lee a hug, “you don’t have to be alone in this though,” Joshua comforted.
“That’s the other thing I was thinking,” Lee said, “I know that if something happened to me I could phone childline and they would look into it but my mam is not a child and so how can I phone childline? If I don’t phone childline who will I phone? Can I phone anyone? Can I do anything? Am I helpless in this situation or can I help my mam in any way at all?”
“I honestly don’t know,” Joshua said, “do you mind if I talk to my father about it?” he asked Lee.
“Why?” Lee asked.
“He might know what to do better than we would. From what I remember I have heard that only the person being abused can bring forward an allegation of abuse against someone else, in terms of domestic violence. So you can’t do it only your mum can and if she doesn’t then there will be nothing done about it.”
“So what do I do?” Lee asked.
“I think the best thing you can do is talk to your mum,” Joshua began, “try and get her to open up to you, or even a friend of hers about what has been happening. Make sure that the person she opens up to, if it isn’t you, is a person who will not dismiss what she is saying because they think they know your dad better and that he would never do that. If your mum hears something like that she begin to internalise it all and think that, even if she did tell anyone, as she has seen in the reaction of the friend that also knows your dad quite well, no one will believe her. You have to keep this from happening, if you can. It may have already happened. In that case you need to stress that you do believe your mother when she tells you what has been going on, or the person she opens up has to. This will give her a sense of security and protection meaning that she will be able to open up and hopefully she will actually do something towards sorting out the problem by talking to your father or seeking legal help.”
“Thanks Joshua,” Lee said, “I’ll try talking to her tonight and she if I can get anywhere with her myself before trying to get my aunt, her sister, to talk to her. She has never been fond of my dad so wouldn’t be the kind of person not to believe mam if she opened up to her about the abuse I think is going on.”
“Lee,” Joshua called as he began to walk away.
“Yeah?” Lee asked turning back to his friend and support.
“This is my mobile number,” Joshua said holding out a piece of paper to Lee with a nine digit code on it.
“Ah… thanks,” Lee said as he took the piece of paper and put it in his shirt pocket, tucked under his jumper.
“It’s for if you need to contact me outside of school times,” Joshua explained, “like I said awhile ago: you aren’t in this alone. I’m here for you and I will talk to my dad about it tonight and see if we can do anything else to help.”
“Thanks Joshua,” Lee said and hugged him again.
“Anything to help a friend man,” Joshua said.
Then the bell rang.